Non-binding Resolutions?
I’m writing in reference to the recent non-binding resolution passed by the House of Representatives that declared our ‘intent to win the war on terror’ and our ‘support of the troops’ etc.
Um, so, if it’s like, ‘non-binding’ what’s the point? Could it be (gasp!) that they’re playing politics! No! Not the Republicans! Only Democrats do that TO Republicans…not the other way ‘round! I know this because I keep hearing Republicans say that, so it must be true…right? Ok. It’s either the Democrats or the ‘Eastern Liberal Media!’ Yeah! That’s it!
SIDEBAR: (Ahh, if there only were a Liberal Media…hmmm…(fade in “Wouldn’t It Be Nice” by the Beach Boys) But, obviously, there isn’t ‘cause if there were a liberal media don’t ya think it would lean more to the left, would be sanitized of any ‘conservative’ points of view, and would actually take the current administration to task for it’s alleged misdeeds? Well? I’m waiting… And if there really is a Liberal Media, then why do I keep hearing all those Republican talking points from virtually every media outlet? One last thing, take a quick peek at who OWNES the large media outlets and see to which party they made donations to. Then come talk to me about ‘Liberal Media.’)
In honor of the great strides they’re making in the House, I would like to announce my own non-binding resolution! I pledge (within the context of said non-binding resolution) that I will make my best effort to appreciate the music and movies of Mariah Carey! I will soon announce this to my wife (who’s not really a fan) and immediately set about accusing her of being ‘Against Mariah!’
Now, I’m not really a fan at all, and I probably will never be, but when I speak at the Mariah Carey fan club dinner and I announce that I put forward legislation (non-binding of course) wherein I pledge to become a Mariah fan, I’m gonna get the big standing-O. And how do you think the fan club will react when I tell them that my wife voted against Mariah appreciation? Voted to ‘cut and run’ from the mellifluous, slightly loopy, character with the dog whistle-like voice that is Mariah? She’ll be lucky to get out of there alive!
Let’s review! What did my non-binding resolution accomplish other than politically embarrassing my wife and painting her into a corner regarding a recording artist that neither of us cares for? Nothing! Now you see what the leaders of the House mean when they say they want a ‘real debate’ about the war. They mean ‘shut up’ about it already. They mean ‘y’all either wid us or agin us.’ It all meant NOTHING. Thanks guys! Heck of a job y’all are doin’!
This latest move is very much like the one pulled by a Republican member of the Senate a couple years ago when the ‘talk on the street’ was suggesting that the administration might want to reinstate the draft. What did that Republican Senator do? Why, he himself put forth a proposal to bring back the draft just so he and others could vote it down and say, “Ya see? Don’t be silly; we’re not bringing the draft back! Look! We just voted not to!” Gosh, that sure seems like playing politics, but I must be wrong. They wouldn’t waste our time and money like that would they? I mean, they’re Republican, they’re supposedly ‘fiscal conservatives’, they would never force us to think one way or the other, they stand for ‘less intrusion’ into our personal lives! Right? They wouldn’t pull a fast one like that just to make a couple points with the public in an election year? Would they? What about our ‘contract with America’? Help us Newt! They wouldn’t let us down like that! Would they? …?
Um, so, if it’s like, ‘non-binding’ what’s the point? Could it be (gasp!) that they’re playing politics! No! Not the Republicans! Only Democrats do that TO Republicans…not the other way ‘round! I know this because I keep hearing Republicans say that, so it must be true…right? Ok. It’s either the Democrats or the ‘Eastern Liberal Media!’ Yeah! That’s it!
SIDEBAR: (Ahh, if there only were a Liberal Media…hmmm…(fade in “Wouldn’t It Be Nice” by the Beach Boys) But, obviously, there isn’t ‘cause if there were a liberal media don’t ya think it would lean more to the left, would be sanitized of any ‘conservative’ points of view, and would actually take the current administration to task for it’s alleged misdeeds? Well? I’m waiting… And if there really is a Liberal Media, then why do I keep hearing all those Republican talking points from virtually every media outlet? One last thing, take a quick peek at who OWNES the large media outlets and see to which party they made donations to. Then come talk to me about ‘Liberal Media.’)
In honor of the great strides they’re making in the House, I would like to announce my own non-binding resolution! I pledge (within the context of said non-binding resolution) that I will make my best effort to appreciate the music and movies of Mariah Carey! I will soon announce this to my wife (who’s not really a fan) and immediately set about accusing her of being ‘Against Mariah!’
Now, I’m not really a fan at all, and I probably will never be, but when I speak at the Mariah Carey fan club dinner and I announce that I put forward legislation (non-binding of course) wherein I pledge to become a Mariah fan, I’m gonna get the big standing-O. And how do you think the fan club will react when I tell them that my wife voted against Mariah appreciation? Voted to ‘cut and run’ from the mellifluous, slightly loopy, character with the dog whistle-like voice that is Mariah? She’ll be lucky to get out of there alive!
Let’s review! What did my non-binding resolution accomplish other than politically embarrassing my wife and painting her into a corner regarding a recording artist that neither of us cares for? Nothing! Now you see what the leaders of the House mean when they say they want a ‘real debate’ about the war. They mean ‘shut up’ about it already. They mean ‘y’all either wid us or agin us.’ It all meant NOTHING. Thanks guys! Heck of a job y’all are doin’!
This latest move is very much like the one pulled by a Republican member of the Senate a couple years ago when the ‘talk on the street’ was suggesting that the administration might want to reinstate the draft. What did that Republican Senator do? Why, he himself put forth a proposal to bring back the draft just so he and others could vote it down and say, “Ya see? Don’t be silly; we’re not bringing the draft back! Look! We just voted not to!” Gosh, that sure seems like playing politics, but I must be wrong. They wouldn’t waste our time and money like that would they? I mean, they’re Republican, they’re supposedly ‘fiscal conservatives’, they would never force us to think one way or the other, they stand for ‘less intrusion’ into our personal lives! Right? They wouldn’t pull a fast one like that just to make a couple points with the public in an election year? Would they? What about our ‘contract with America’? Help us Newt! They wouldn’t let us down like that! Would they? …?
posted by M.C. Steve | 1:31 PM
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