On a personal note...

Just to make myself feel better, I'd like to state for the record that Tim Powell has apparently lost his mind!

His apparent insanity aside, Tim Powell is great man. It seems he thinks that I'm pretty great too, although you'll see that he's shy about expressing his true feelings for me. I'm such an important part of his existence that he seems to think that I am personally responsible for his current predicament regarding a piece of equipment he owns.

Aww, geeze Tim, your making me blush!

Let me show you what I mean!

He has informed me via two messages and a phone 'conversation' that I am:
a. Not a man
b. A 'motherfucker'
c. A 'piece of shit'
d. Some other stuff along the same lines

I was also informed that I could:
a. Go to hell
b. Fuck off

Wow huh?

"He likes me! He really, really likes me!"

Oddly enough he called me first. Before the two messages and the phone 'conversation,' he called for...get this...'help!'

Tim Powell is a beautiful and humble man. I think I may be falling in love. I've never had feelings like this for a man before.

(Somebody hold me!)

Well, it's plain that I should run right out and do everything I can to help 'ol Tim Powell now! Today!

I mean, who wouldn't?

You really can see why he's so popular! His exemplary use, and re-use, and re-use, and re-use of the word 'motherfucker' in our 'conversation' really sets him apart, and elevates Tim Powell to the level of some of our greatest orators.

Tim Powell possesses great personal magnetism and charm; he's a leader of men, a bug-zapper in the darkness if you will. Tim Powell is a man other men can (and do) admire! Manly men like Richard Chamberlin, Harvey Fierstein, and Sandra Bernhard.

What’s more, Tim Powell is kind. You can tell because, whenever I tried to say anything, he would just keep shouting 'FUCK YOU' into the phone. That's love folks, that's real love!

(I've gotta take a break, I'm getting a bit misty...)

I can't take it anymore! I've got to shout it to the rooftops! I LOVE TIM POWELL! I want to spend the rest of my life with Tim Powell! I want to share my life, my santorum (especially my santorum!), with Tim Powell! I've got to say it here before my insides explode!

TIM POWELL IS MY LOVER!!!

Ok?

Hey Tim?

You still there my little santorum slurping stud muffin?