I’ve been in a pretty cranky mood lately…
And I find myself in a catch-22.
You see, I’m MONUMENTILLY pissed off!
…at Republicans, Democrats, the President, the Vice President, Carl Rove, Speaker Hastrit (sp?), Arlen “I aint got no balls!” Specter, (tentatively) the Supreme Court (I’m watching you…), the Green Party (way to give us Bush ya bunch of fucking-Nader-voting-tree-hugging-dumb-asses! I could of, and did, tell ya so!), Hillary Clinton (for even THINKING of running for pres. If the Dems nominate her they have a king-hell death wish and are now working openly for the opposition! And I LIKE Hillary.), some guy running for the Senate in Indiana on the Republican ticket named Steve McBrian (no-shit-swear-to-dog! Go google ‘em!), the war in Iraq and Afghanistan (coming to the theater of Iran soon!), Jews (hard-headed), Palestinians (hard-headed pawns being used to further everyone’s cause except their own), Christians of all ilk (among numerous other things; the bible is the word of god? Are you high or just fucking stupid? Oh, yeah, and the worlds only a few thousand years old (Fossil record? What fossil record?), and yeah yer right! Life is too complex to come into being by itself; it must have been the hand of god! Yeah, and rain is god crying and earth quakes are from god eating too many raw onions…), organized religion in general, Ann (the cunt) Coulture (may she drown in the un-deodorized sweat of a thousand dead-heads…in fact lets tie her back to back with Bill O’Riley and sink the both of them with the corpses of Kenny G and Michael Bolton! If she sinks, it’ll prove once and for all she’s not a witch!), the pope (c’mon you uncle-fester-looking-motherfucker…you should know better), etc., etc., etc., etc.
And I think I have very few solutions to choose from.
One: to move to a different, only slightly saner, country. First off, I don’t know where that might be and secondly, it’s not likely, and well, fuck that! I like it here! Really!
Two: to climb into a clock tower with a case of vodka, a case of ammunition, and a big fucking gun and take some of these diarrhea inspiring motherfuckers with me. But, frankly, I'm too chicken-shit for that, or…
Three: perhaps, turn myself into another stupid American automaton and stop reading, watching or listening to any sort of ‘news,’ vote the ‘party’ line and start watching American Idle. No, I didn’t miss-spell it…
And that’s where the catch comes. I can relieve myself of my angst by turning myself into the type of person that inspires my angst in the first place!
...and I just CAN'T start watching American Idle. I'd go on, but you either know what I'm talking about, or you're a fan!
