UPDATED! The New Hampshire House has voted to allow civil unions for gay and lesbian couples.

I’m going to jump right in, before a single letter is published regarding civil unions and label every one of you sitting at your computers preparing to decry the moral degradation of New Hampshire, bigoted homophobes. Ready? Here goes:

“You are all bigoted homophobes!” And now I’ll tell you why:

This has nothing to do with the church. Are you married? Your marriage has NOTHING to do with the church other than the fact that it may have taken place within one. The legally binding document in question, the one that makes you ‘married’ and grants those rights and privileges that come with marriage, is bestowed upon you via the civil laws of New Hampshire. Without that document you are not married in the eyes of the law. So don’t go there. No one is legally compelled to be married in a church in order to be considered ‘married.’ There are those that say ‘the Bible says homosexuality is wrong!’ For those of you who don’t know, the passage in question is located within Leviticus. So what about Leviticus? You either take it as whole cloth, or dismiss it outright. So, hopefully any of you who are using the passage from Leviticus to bolster your argument better not be fans of shellfish. It says that it’s wrong in Gods eye’s to eat shellfish in Leviticus.

This has nothing to do with ‘tradition.’ There were those who thought interracial marriage was an outrage, there were those that thought woman not having the vote, and not being allowed to own property, was good and traditional. There were those that traditionally thought the mentally ill were criminals. Humans have worshiped trees, rocks, and bodies of water; we used to pay homage to Zeus and a pantheon of other deities. Traditions change, we learn, we grow up.

I don’t want to hear a single one of you bring up the ‘sanctity of marriage.’ Don’t make me laugh! Have you SEEN the divorce stats lately? If you want to protect this pie in the sky ‘sanctity’ then perhaps you should make divorce illegal! Furthermore, I better not find out that any one of you have actually been divorced yourself, you hypocritical, bigoted, homophobes! If you’ve been divorced than you are automatically disbarred from this discussion, as you obviously have no respect for the ‘sanctity’ of marriage.

There’s also the sub-topic of marriage being for the procreation of children. This one is monumentally insulting to ANY married, childless, couple. So we’re rating marriages somehow now? My marriage is better than my friends’ marriage because I have a kid and they don’t? Their marriage is somehow ‘less’ sanctified than mine? Good luck with that one.

Lastly, what’s the real problem? Did a gay or lesbian person drop you on your head when you were a kid? Do they ‘scare’ you, or do you feel that they are somehow a threat to your sexuality, or man-hood, or woman-ness? Well, guess what? YOU will not be made to go to ‘gay/lesbian’ school. YOU will not be forced to participate in, or bear witness to any civil unions against your will. YOU and your family will not be rounded up and put into vast, Disney-like, ‘breeder camps’ in order to further the species. What’s left?

You, my friend, are a bigoted homophobe.

UPDATE!
4/16/07 - Looks like the Union Leader is actually going to print this!